A Christmas Uncomfortable

I am torn over Christmas this year, torn between celebrating a holy holiday and all the stuff, business, and over-everything that Christmas has become. There is not a single thing I NEED from any store yet I get all panicky and excited about sales. There is nothing my children really desire but I am tempted to lavish them with gifts just because I can and it would be so pretty and fun. We need nothing and have more than enough for several families already. The more God shapes my heart for the the things he cares about the more the manic and over-indulgence of the Holiday season grates me. Jesus came as a babe to poor teenagers not to prosper the world but to save it. I can imagine I much more fitting way to honor his sacrifice than to indulge in excess while ignoring his precious children around the planet but yet I still get sucked into the holiday merriment. My heart is so torn.

A far more eloquent article on many of the things that have been rambling through my head this month: Read it! Do it!

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/29/the-christmas-conundrum

re-

There has been a lot of re-_________ going on around our house and lives this past week.

Refreshed, renewed, restored. It is lovely. I'll write more about "re-" in a later post, but this week I really enjoyed this blog post by "this the reverb." I love his site, faith, photography, food, family.... all the "f's" one neat blog.

What do you think? Do you need to be refreshed?

wipe balls

As often as our schedules allow, we sit down and watch Wipeout, wipe balls according to moo, as a family. Both our kids love it, and obviously we love watching people fall flat on their faces and generally make fools of themselves. My personal favorite "event" is probably the sweeper. It's always good for a laugh since it's not me enduring the embarrassment or hardship.

Lately though, I feel like I am getting pummeled by the emotional, mental, and physical "sweepers" in my life and it is wearing me out. No, it has worn me out. Too much of the crummy stuff, virtually none of the "good" stuff.

"I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil." Job 3:26

Too much of me, too little of God.
Too much worry, not enough prayer.
Too much conflict, not enough peace.
Too many accusations, not enough grace.
Too much stuff, too little joy.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30

I am weary. I am burdened. And I am sick of it. So, I am going to led God lead again. :)

anniversary

October 13, 2004

It was a cold, cloudy, and windy day and I had been at work watching some sweet kids from church and was on my way home. It was late afternoon and I was ready to head home and kick back. I was thinking about nothing in particular waiting for the green arrow to turn left.

The words came across my heart as clearly as anyone has ever spoken to me.

"Do not go in your house. Do not go inside."

I drove the last 1/4 mile to my house with fear rolling my mind. I immediately noticed our bedroom light was on through a broken window blind. It was off when I left. I creeped around the side of my house and saw our back window was busted in. NO NO NO. Not again. We had been robbed. Again. For the second time in 3 months, with our car being broken in, and a car window shot out between the two.

I ran to my neighbors to use their phone to call hubs and the cops. The neighbors offered to go in the house with me while we waited for the cops. My home, was trashed. The first time we had gotten robbed, it was very subtle. A few things were moved and the back door was kicked in but otherwise it was still my home. Not this time. Every drawer had been ransacked. Every room thoroughly tossed. All the gas stove burners were on as high as they could go. As if it was enough to violate our space they wanted to burn it down as well.

They didn't take much. My digital camera. My husband's wedding ring (he never, ever wore it), his school backpack, $40 in small change, and my husband's mountain bike. Amazingly, the one drawer they had not riffled through contained my brand new laptop under a pile of sheets.

My sense of security was shattered. I refused to be at home by myself for awhile. I rang the doorbell repeatedly before I would go into the house when I was by myself. We boxed up anything remaining of any value and stored in a friend's garage. We got a giant doberman a couple days after being robbed so I would be less fearful. We took the advice of the cops and let our lawn get messier and threw some kids toys around the yard. We removed all insignia of our college off our cars and pad locked all the gates in and out of our yard. We put our house on the market and ultimately decided to not sell.

Slowly the fear as gone away. It still comes with the darkness of night sometimes or a loud crash in the alley. I would never imagined we would be living in the same home 4 years later. By the grace of God, we have had no more break ins and have been blessed with some wonderful neighbors who keep a watchful eye on our home when we are here and when we are away.