the great pee bath of 2009

My kids have taken disgusting to a new level lately. They make a public bathroom look tame. My apologies to my facebook friends who read my utterly disgusting updates, but it's just so bad I have to share. However, I think maybe some explanation is in order. Text in pink italics is from facebook.

I have seen a new low in gross. I just found ella bella playing in her diaper pail sucking on a soiled cloth diaper. Yes. Gross. Happy Mothers Day.

I really do watch my children closely. I Promise. Close enough to know the nano second any piece of unapproved matter goes in the babies mouth. Never mind scratch that. She did suck a diaper after all. Oye. Vey. On the plus side it was just wet and I have heard pee is sterile. And also on the plus side we still cloth diaper....

note to self: lock up ALL sharpie markers. simply putting them 4 ft off the ground is not a deterrent to my little tattoo artist. and the baby really likes dum-dums suckers. Oops.

Thankfully not gross. Just amusing. A little sharpie on the arm every now and then is not going to hurt them. And the dum dum thing, that was just amusing. I might need to get it on video.

discovery of the day: my barely one year old can fully undress herself during nap time and fling all her clothes over the side of the crib. Quite the shock since my 3 year old still can't undress himself!

Judging from the facebook comments, people thought this was charming. And I will say she is pretty darn cute in her birthday suit. However, not so cute when literally every square inch of her sheet was soaked in pee and therefore she was soaked in pee. Moo thought it was hilaroius.

agh. that makes twice today my son has peed on his little sister. But on the bright side, at least this time it wasn't on her head.

That brings us to today. I hope it was International Pee on Your Sister Day because we clebrated really well. First time: Moo sprints for the potty. We have been encouraging him to do all the work by himself (pants down, on the throne, ect) this week. He has done really well. Err, had done really well. He didn't guite make it and sister had started crawling after him to see what was up. Small bathroom, bad aim preschooler, curious baby sister. Ella Bella ended up with a wet head, face, and clothes. Into the tub for her. The rest of the bathroom wasn't much better, or Moo for that matter. Into the tub for him too.

All clean, new clothes, new underwear. Dinner. Playtime.

Moo has some bladder control issues when his sister gets him hysterically laughing. It only happens every now and then, but, it unfortunately happened today as little sister was unfortunately crawling under his legs. Luckily she mostly dodged the flow on that one, only getting some on her feet.

Foot bath for her.

Mom has had enough. Diapers all around and time for BED!

fluid

Overall, I like being a mom. However, there is one little thing that I could totally forgo in this whole parenting business. Fluid. All the various moistness that comes from having children. Yuck. Today was a particularly fluid filled day, so here is my day by the fluids.

wake-up
1 wet little boy in one very wet little bed
1 wet and poopy little girl in one wet and poopy sleepsack on a wet bed.
son spills milk out of spill proof cup
daughter laughs and spills milk out nose.
cat vomits
Moo talks about the cat vomiting for a good 2 hours
another yucky diaper
4 trips to the potty for the 3 year old
1st pair of poopy underwear AGHHHHH*
1st bath to clean up said poop incident
3 times blowing nose of son
countless times washing my hands and moo's hands
yet another gross diaper
1 40 oz smoothie spilled all over the backseat of the car (so sad........)***
another diaper to be changed
2nd pair of poopy underwear GRRRRR
2nd bath to clean up encore poop incident

enough with the fluids, time for kids to be in bed.

Yeah, I could so do with out the fluids.

* pooping in your pants is a skill we picked up in the land o' corn. ;)
** that smoothie was going to be my sweet release from a long couple days flying virtually solo with the kiddos. Oops. I nooooooooooooo I don't drink 40 oz of smoothie myself, I drink a third of it and use the rest to make popsicles. At least that was the plan.

poor sick baby

I have now really lived....

A couple months ago, my sister in law was visiting from the land o' corn. A common parenting adventure came up, one that in our 2.5 years of parenting had not experienced. A veteran parent, She was shocked by this and said:

"Well, you haven't really lived then!"

Well, dear sister in law, I have now really lived. This delightful dual bathing experience was brought to an abrupt end when for the first time ever the Moo man pooped in the tub. Even better, or worse, I inadvertently caught it on camera. I'll spare you THAT photo.

Ummm, hello, he is potty trained now! We almost made it 3 years without really living as parents.

big boy bed

You might be thinking, what in the world does infant tylenol have to do with big boy beds....

Yesterday, at just a few weeks shy of 3, we converted Moo's crib to a big boy bed. He was so excited that he could now climb in and out of his bed with ease. Wonderful. He thought it was even cooler than his crib and was excited to try it out.

Fast forward to nap time a couple hours later. We don't make him nap, but he has to play quietly in his room or our room depending on where Ella Bella is napping. He played in his room quietly for an hour. I could here him climbing in and out of bed, but that was ok. I got him up and we went about playing. A few minutes later I went to go put a blanket back in Ella Bella's crib and noticed a tylenol bottle laying on the floor.

Crap.

I pick it up. Empty. Cap is loose.

Crap.

I take it to Moo and ask, "Did you eat this? Mommy will not be mad but I need to know."

No answer.

I screw the cap back on tightly and hand it to him. "Open this for Mommy."

Twist. Pop. Tada!

"Mom, it's empty! But I drank it!"

Fantastic. Moo seems perfectly fine. Quick call to the pediatrician, who refers me to poison control. A little quick calculating just o find out that an almost 3-year old weighing 30lbs can drink 1 fl oz. of infant tylenol and be.... fine. All I had to do was keep him upright and awake and call ems (daddy!) if he got a high fever or started vomiting uncontrollably. He acted completely normal, never had a single side effect.

And yes, all "fun" things have been removed from his room. At least his little escapade wasn't as messy as, say, the child who smeared her entire room and self in vaseline.

life is like a day in the park

Life is like a day in the park, full up ups and downs. Happiness and sorrow. Potty accidents and terrifying swings that turn on you. Oh? That's not what happens when you go to park?

Well it's normal for us. We walked to the park, about a mile each way. We were literally 20 yards from the park when moo peed on himself. Nice. Even nicer, "bad mommy" only had spare clothes for sis. So yep, he ran around the playground wearing wet underwear and 18 month size pants (err, bicycle shorts) in BRIGHT pink. Good job Mom!

We then went to go get ice cream across the street. Closed. The little cafe next door? Closed. The fair trade coffee shop, not a great idea with kids. The nasty grocery store across the street? Check! Bad Mommy also didn't pack snacks. So after grabbing a box of graham crackers we headed home. The store had peanuts out in ventilated bags and that was enough to trigger a rash on Moo and send him over the edge. He didn't touch them, didn't come within 10 feet of them. Agh. Even the simple is complicated with his allergy. He requested a nap as soon as we got home. Poor kid.

smooth

I often tease my husband mercilessly for his little life mishaps. For example, dressing Ella Bella in a sweater and t-shirt. Most of us would put the t-shirt on, then the sweater. Nope. Not my husband. Sweater then t-shirt. Poor guy.

God must be thinking I need to learn a little humility in this area.

For example, cutting decorative pine cones off your pre-lit Christmas tree is not the best idea. It may result in snipping the Christmas lights and mildly shocking yourself. Not that I would do that. I also wouldn't realize after cloth diapering for nearly 3 months that the container I have been putting dirty diapers in wasn't completely waterproof. Or a couple weeks ago when I took newborn photos of my friends baby and deleted them all before I left her house. Nooooooooo, not me. Oh well.

Well, now you know..... I am seriously flawed.

Back to regular, photo filled postings soon. And, gee this is suppossed to be a creative blog and all I do is yammer on about my kids. I promise some easy creative projects are coming.

before I forget....

Eh, this might be of some interest to the grandmothers. My apologies to everyone else.

Ella Bella's latest stats @ 6 months old.
19lbs 7oz and 27.5 inches long.
95% height, 95% weight, and 60% head.

Also, what would you do in this predicament. You feed your child with plans of giving her and her brother a bath afterwords. You burp her and she proceeds to "toss" the "whole load" directly down your shirt. She has a little bit of mess on her, but not nearly the half gallon (slight exaggeration) that you are covered in, mostly in your hair.

What would you do?

If you are me, you say see ya kids.... pop in the wiggles, warn your 2 -year old of the perils of hurting little sis and go take a nice long shower yourself. And wash your hair several times... Eh, probably not the BEST choice... but it sure was refreshing!

new

I slept in this morning.

The kiddos did not. I was a bit of an olympic insomniac last night and din't fall asleep till 3:30am. I figured Ella Bella would holla' and wake me up between 7:30 and 8. WRONG! I woke up on my own at 9:20 to only hear the faintest of cooing from her and chattering from the Moo Man.

I open the door, turn and look in Moo's crib. Moo is dancing in his "emperor's new clothing" gleefully saying "Where the diaper?". I find a very dry diaper crumpled on the floor and a completely DRY crib and bedding. Ummm, maybe we should look into that potty training thing. Seeing as my very unpotty trained toddler went from 8pm to 9am without a diaper, apparently...

about 10 minutes later I was reminded Ella Bella is certainly not ready to be potty trained when she shot poo all over me, her, and the boppy while I fed her. Lovely.

moo vs. the ocean part 2

Moo's second encounter with the ocean went pretty much the same as the first back in December....

Run to the water with great excitement, waves come up to his ankles, Moo gets scared and falls on his butt. Moo becomes terrified of the ocean and spends the rest of the time at the beach sobbing in terror if anyone he loves goes near the water. He even ran out to the edge of the waves to try and "save" me.

Ella Bella didn't particularly enjoy her first encounter with the ocean either. She didn't cry, but her little body tensed up as her toes went in the water.





We bailed on the beach after half an hour and headed to the hotel pool. Which, despite getting completely submerged and struggling while we fished him out, Moo loved. Ella Bella was watching from the side in her car seat until I noticed she was completely drenched in sweat and didn't respond when I pinched her foot. I unbuckled her as fast as I could and jumped in the water with her to cool her off. She was fine, just gave me a scare! She seemed to like the pool...

cured

Ikea. I love Ikea. Well, I loved Ikea.

I have been hither and yon the last few days traveling down to the sweltering coast to see my sis and her hubs and to meet their darling daughter Booger Bear. She is precious! I took just a *few* photos of her as she was introduced to the Auntie La's photo torture.

On the way back, my parents graciously agreed to stop at IKEA.

Let me set up the scene for you. 5 people traveling in a 5 person suv for 4.5 hours when we get to IKEA. 1 Gram, 1 Papa, 1 Mama, 1 Moo and 1 Ella Bella. Moo has not napped in days and went to bed way later than usual. Ella Bella equates anytime she is not in her car seat with eating. Gram and Mama (me) just want to shop. Poor Papa gets drug along. It's a Saturday and IKEA is BUSY.

My dad takes Moo to go jump on the beds and my mom and I begin perusing all of the wonderful offerings of IKEA, and quickly realize Ella Bella has soaked through her clothes. We take the redneck route and change her on one of the dozens of desks on display. Her pants are soaked and we are not about to loose one minute of shopping time so we leave her in just a shirt and diaper. First Mistake.

We continue shopping in relative IKEA induced bliss for the next 10 minutes. My dad and Moo meet back up with us near a train table. Moo wants to play trains and my dad watches him. Since Moo is completely train addicted and isn't going anywhere, my mom hands my dad Ella Bella and we proceed with our shopping. My mommy instinct is immediately nagging at me that Ella Bella is going to start screaming and I should just carry her. But do I listen.....

Nooooooooo.

About 5 minutes, okay maybe 10 minutes... it is IKEA, later... I can't ignore my instinct anymore and go back to get Ella Bella.

Oh goodness... the scene I found.

My dad had made it about 30 feet from the train table where Moo is screaming in a full on tantrum on the floor, undoubtedly because he had to leave the trains. Ella Bella has gone all angry tomato face and is full on screaming with her diaper falling off. My dad is frantically trying to dial his cell phone and hold her while this lady tries to "help him" by taking Ella Bella. He was full prepared to deck this lady if she even touched his grandbaby.

I felt sooooooooooo bad.

My poor dad. I don't think he will be so eager to go on another trip ANYWHERE with us. Needless to say, the IKEA experience went downhill from there. Moo screamed the rest of the time mourning the trains he left behind, I was walking around while feeding Ella Bella (thank goodness for hooter hiders!), my mom was trying unsuccessfully to calm Moo down, and my dad, well, he was understandably rattled and, umm, MAD. I bet my sis is having a good laugh right about now....

By the time we found our way back to the car and got everyone loaded up, we were all CRABBY. I am sure some expletive or off color description would more accurately convey the mood, but this is a family blog. Let your imagination fill in the scene. And we were still 8 HOURS from home. Oye vey.

So, I am cured of IKEA.

More accurately, I am cured of EVER taking my children there again.

And down will come baby cradle and all

Make that cradle swing....

My sweet little baby girl fell out of her swing face first to the floor. Nice. I hereby nominate myself for mother of the year. I think hubs may fire me from being a stay at home mom.

She was strapped in, obviously not tight enough! She screamed for a minute and then immediately demanded to eat. Perfectly normal behavior. So, I think she is fine. But my what a scare!

similarity

For the past 2 months, we have heard several questions over and over again. Are you having more kids? When are you having more kids? We think you should have 5 or 6 kids, how many do you want? Are you "finished" now that you have one of each? How did you get one of each? Any advice to get one of each? (seriously) And more often, does she look like Moo? I haven't really had an answer to any of those questions, but now I can answer the last one.

Does she look like Moo?

Yep. She certainly does! Well, at least I think so....

Ella Bella had her 2 month appointment today and she mostly took her 3 shots and an oral vaccine like a champ. Other than that whole bright red screaming tomato thing they do when they get stabbed. The faces she was making while we waited for the doctor were deja vu from Moo's 2 month appointment 2 years ago.

I made the mom mistake of not giving her any tylenol and we paid dearly for that a couple hours later when my husband brushed her chubby little thigh where they gave her the shots and she screamed so long and hard that she threw up and just trembled. She then threw up the tylenol too.... nice. Note to self: next time dose the child before the shots!

Ella Bella is now tipping the scales at 14 lbs and is 24 inches long. She slept all the way through MY night last night, sleeping from 9:30pm to 6:45am when I woke her up because I was in PAIN. :) I am hoping for a repeat performance tonight.

I am THAT mom

I am THAT mom. The one everyone whispers about and pulls their kids away from her kids. Yep. I did the unspeakable mom crime of taking a sick child to a play date. Yep. I am THAT mom.

In my defense, my adorable little toddler showed no indication that he was sick. None. He had a fever on Monday and Tuesday and we stayed away from everyone for the obligatory 24hours after that. In fact, we didn't leave the house until Friday. He was happy and full of energy. He danced up a storm with little L and let her boss him around like a little wife.

Then on Saturday, I woke up with the chills. Serious chills. But since it was my one and only time to get out of the house sans kids this week, I threw on my fleece jacket and ran errands. Yeah, wearing a fleece jacket in the 90 degree summer heat probably should have been an indicator to stay home....

A couple hours later I was shaking and dizzy and feverish. I had to call my husband on his cell phone (he was at the other end of our very small house) to help me feed the baby before I dropped her on the floor. Good times.

Sunday and Monday were really not any better. Less fever and a whole lot more sore throat. I had lost 7 pounds since Friday (not how I planned on losing the last of the baby weight!) and Ella Bella was eating every hour to hour and half and was really fussy in between. I was way to tired and way to stressed from trying to take care of two grumpy kids by myself. Insert nervous breakdown here. My very practical friend R calmly suggested perhaps I should go to the doctor and she would come watch the kids. I don't know what we would do without her!

I take Ella Bella with me to the doctor. We have strep! Yay! Give me drugs!

They suggest I bring my 2 year old in for a strep test, just in case, they will even see him immediately. I run home and swap kids. Moo takes the test and it instantly turns positive. The poor kid must have been feeling so lousy, but he is just so happy!

So we are all on antibiotics and are all feeling much better. We have been instructed to eat lots and lots of yogurt to prevent thrush, hence the dozen kinds! I have energy again, Ella Bella is sleeping again and back to eating every 3-4 hours, and Moo is the same. Happy, so happy!

Sleep

Sleep. We are all lacking it around here. Since I get the sole responsibility of night feedings, I am the most sleep deprived. It hasn't really been bad, well until yesterday that it.

I have been battling severe sinus headaches every couple days since little miss's arrival and yesterdays was just killer. For me sinus headaches are a cross between wisdom teeth surgery and morning sickness and make me pretty useless. I was letting Moo watch copious amounts of mind rotting PBS kids shows. His favorite show came on and he was glued and I fell asleep. I woke up an HOUR later. I felt great, but my 2 year old had been completely unsupervised for an HOUR. Judging by the trail he left, he played with the hvac filters, helped himself to some cheerios, and locked himself in his room. Yep, I am a fantastic mother. I found him locked in his room having a wonderful time reading.

It was about 5 minutes after that incident that I decided 2 things:
1. I need some allergy medicine I can take!
2. It's time we all get some more sleep.

So we booted little miss and her cradle out to the dining room last night hoping we could start stretching out some feedings and eventually drop one. I know she is only a month old, but she is also 12 pounds (!!!) and should have the stomach capacity to go a little longer between feedings.

Yeah, it didn't work. She did great until after her 3am feeding and then she fussed for 90 minutes until I relented and just let her sleep next to me for a few hours.

And the sleeping in her crib or cradle during the day, also not working.

We have our work cut out for us!

In the meantime, this wrap is saving my sanity! I picked it up on a whim last summer at Target for $10. Little miss has such bad tummy pain and sometimes holding her upright is the only thing that keeps her from screaming in pain and or throwing up.