he is ok.

Last night was a typical night around our house. Hubs went off to work, I entertained the kiddos until bedtime finally and mercifully arrived and enjoyed a couple hours of editing and then headed off the bed to watch snl. It was a rerun, so I flipped it off and fell asleep.

ding-dong

11:30pm

Agh. I HATE it when our drunk neighbors randomly ring our doorbell in the middle of the night. I peek out our bedroom window and see what every firefighters wife dreads.

A big red engine, no lights on. Quiet.

My heart started racing as fumbled around to get to the door. Please God no.

I opened the door and there stood the rest of my husbands crew, without him.

No, no, no.

Thankfully, his lieutenant was quick to say "Your husband is ok. He is ok. He is in the ER, but it's minor... he just overheated after a fire."

They reassured me they would check on him, offered to find someone to help with the kids, gave me hug and went off the hospital to check on him with a promise to call me with an update. They would have called rather than scaring me to death, but they didn't have my number.

I just stood there shaking for a few minutes. So thankful to God he was ok, but so shaken by how quickly my world could have flipped upside down.

I looked around my house... total disarray. Boxes half packed, dirty sippy cubs in the sink, random toys and other kid stuff strewn all over the house. A mountain of folded laundry and a mountain of dirty laundry. My kids are sound asleep. Can you even take kids to the ER? I have no idea, the only reason we ever go to the ER is because of the kids. I scan the list of people on facebook chat. Several who live out of town, a single mom on the other side of town, and a photographer I barely know but whom lives very close. We don't have family in town, and only have a few close friends who I would unashamedly ask to come sleep on my couch in my messy house. Most of them are out of town for the weekend or have guests or would have to leave their own kids alone to come help. So, I called a friend, no answer..... but come on it's nearly midnight by now, we should all be asleep! So I prayed for peace, for an update, for his safety.

Within 5 minutes, the phone rang. It was my husband. He said he was fine, he sounded fine, he said not to worry, and not to come to the hospital, and not to wake the kids up. Thankfully, he really was fine and was home a couple hours later. He had been running on the treadmill at work for an hour (or more) when they got called to a fire. It wasn't a very big fire, but it still required them to do a bunch of physical hose dragging and whatever else they do on scene. He started feeling lousy, took a break, tried to go back to fighting the fire, but still felt lousy, got dizzy, and possibly blacked out a little. So, they took him to the hospital, ambulance and all, to get checked out. 2 bags of fluid later he was good to go. No big deal to him. He was just mad he had to take the rest of the shift off, he would have loved to go back to work.

I am ashamed my response was to worry about inconviencing others or what they would think of my less than tidy house rather than saying I need to be with my husband no matter what. Sometimes living life with other people means they see the messy side of your life. It might mean waking up a friend and seeing them stumble over to your house to watch your kids or letting go of the little stuff.

Anyways. He is ok. He slept till 10:30am (the kids and I snuck out to church) and looked like he had a bad hangover combined with the flu but is just tired. Another day and he will be back to normal.

*sorry, that was really long. if you read all of that you deserve a treat!